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Change is good even if you don’t see it right away

I here some say change is good.  I know most of us hate the feeling that change brings when it is brought upon us without any notice.  I myself can relate.  I just recently moved from one area to another.  Thus is why you have not heard from me lately.  The process of moving everything out of one apartment to another is all about change; letting go of some things that may have been kept well beyond their use; and reusing things you did not know you had.

I speak about change today because in life change is so necessary. It is a way to measure your growth in change.  I found that this move has truly made me more aware of me the person.  Someone that could not wait to get out of her car and home is now taking the time to go on an adventure every time I am behind the wheel. All while driving to my destination.  I thought I would dread the drive on the highway, miss working two jobs 40 hours a week each and get home plum tuckered. Instead I learned to cut my hours down to 65 hours a week between two jobs and still have a little me time on the road.

The point I am trying to make is that even when we dread the change it still has value and can add value to your life.  Most of us wonder why I would make such a statement and the biggest change was my place of living.  I learned in this move that I have found time to really relax and enjoy creating a new adventure.  I learned that in this move I had more patience then I thought.  I also learned that I am more resilient then I thought as this was a stressful move.  Nonetheless the change was good,  I learned in this move that if I am out of my comfort level I am more apt to think with the glass half full.  I am able to utilize my critical thinking skills with my daily adventures of making it to work on time and enjoying exploring the world around me.

So as you think of the many things in your life that may change either daily, weekly or yearly remember to embrace the change.  Each change we are able to encounter allows us to bring more growth which equates to wisdom.

What is your addiction……..

I wonder what is the first thing you thought of when you read the word addiction.  I know for me it use to be some form of over use of a chemical you are putting into your body that you just cannot stop.  The over whelming feeling of going up high and then crashing to the ground like a harsh wave hitting the sand on a beach front.

The reality is that people can have an addiction to many things and not just a chemical like smoking, or heroin.  Its so easy for society to just take addiction and make it a one way highway when in fact if you look around its closer then you think.  I bring this topic up as I talk to people that are close to me.  They are always complaining  I have no personal time because I am always working.  I thought long and hard this weekend, eager to get back to writing a blog, and realized I could not hop online because I was at work.

I realized this morning as I got ready for work.  I work 7 days a week I am home for only 6-8 hours a night and back at work with very little time for socializing or me time.  Some wonder why I do it, is it for money?  Am I avoiding something in my personal life?  I never really thought about it until this morning.  I realized that for me I have to stay busy.  I have so much energy that if I do not work myself to tiredness then I will just be up all night not getting very much sleep.  I find that keeping myself busy at work is the one consistent balance that I need.  Some people say they could not live without going to the gym.  I could not live without pushing myself to the limits at work, seeing just how many hours my mind and body can go without really stopping. The rat race challenge although can be a struggle is also fun.   This was just my realization to my addiction to work.  Yes I say addiction because the definition is just that any one person that is always compelled to work, thinking about work and feels guilty calling out of work.

I confess I am a workaholic.  I work so many hours that I have to plan my outings with my friend like a business meeting because my time is so limited.  I find more ways to keep myself busy with some kind of work either from my full time or picking up extra hours at my part time job.  I have to be honest it does and will affect my life; even more if I continue to  allow work to be the only  aspect my life.  I learned this weekend that I miss a lot of great networking opportunities or just down time  because I am always at work.

I also now understand the phrase work, life, balanced which has been a staple at my full time job for the past 10 years.  Each and every one of us deserves a work,life balance that is healthy.  When we have a great work, life , balance we are able to achieve more,  we become more attached to our needs as well as the needs of the ones we love.  We are able to relax and give our bodies a better chance at rebounding from illness and mental weariness.

So I ask what are you so compelled to do that it interrupts your daily responsibilities?  What is it that you are secretly in denial to yourself or love ones but it is taking over your life?  Please join the conversation, stop and share your thoughts I would love to hear…..

The loss of innocence……..

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Are we asking for our youth to be more responsible than the adults?  Are we turning to our children and asking them to make adult decisions when in fact that is our job to perform?  I ask these questions as I scan the news today reading about a young lady that is fighting for her freedom.  The young lady “Bresha Meadows” unfortunately is paying with her freedom for protecting her family at the young age of 14.  I hear so many of these stories where children are held responsible like an adult for crimes they have committed.  Unfortunately it just breaks my heart.

Some will say well she could have called the police.  Others may say she could have removed her self from the home and runaway.  However in a world like we live in today the options are not that great if you are a runaway.  Sleeping on the streets is not the easiest thing to do and finding food is even harder.   Not to mention all the predators out there just looking for a child with no support maybe down in their luck to take advantage.

I know because I remember the days of being a runaway and those days were not fun by no means.  I also remember the juvenile court which was not fun either.  Although it was well over 20 years ago I am sure the scenery is the same,  A room full with adults talking amongst each other with no real care on what is going on in the child’s mind; in the court room with them.  I remember being told “Stay in a child’s place” all the while I was treated like an adult.  The mixed messages so quickly given to children  but the punishments so harsh and consistent I seldom wonder if we realize what we are doing to our youth.

The innocence that children possess is like no other. It is a purity that cannot be bought or resold but we are so quick to destroy it in fear.  We fear that the innocence and unfiltered thoughts of our children will someday change our society  for the better.   Instead we keep the same pattern of cruelty passing down from one generation to the next building a wall of bitterness from one generation to the next allowing the true innocence of our youth to be lost to the streets, violence, and jails of our country.

Today I ask you is the innocence of the youth lost? Are we creating a world so harden that we are creating generations of fight or flight? Are we as adults holding up our end of the bargain to protect and provide to our children and youth? Or are we selling our youths innocence to save ourselves?

Sacrifice for love.

What do you sacrifice for the name of love? Do you give yourself up completely? Do you make a compromise so that the sacrifices are fair? Do you just look for that person that will mold you to whatever they want.  Are you that person that is just looking for someone to say those three words and mean it because you never heard or felt the emotion?

What I have learned in my many years is that, many of us don’t really know what love means. We are so quick to say it to our counterparts, friends and family  with no real substance behind the word.  We think once we say those three words “I love you” that all is well.  Only if that was true.  I heard growing up “you tend to hurt the ones you love.” I say you show your true self around those you claim to love.  We all look and want that person that is the apple of our eye.  The person to grow old with but to what extent.  What will you give of yourself to hear and feel that emotion.  I have learned that most people say I love you with conditioned terms to how deep that love will go.

When I say those three words “I love you” it means unconditional. I am not looking to change the person nor or you looking to change me. Love is acceptance, Good, bad or indifferent.  I love you because you are who you are and no other reason.  I thought that was the definition of “I love you.”  As I get older I am still learning the definitions to words and phrases mean different things to different people.

In the many years of chasing those three words “I love you” I learned  don’t make sacrifices that change or alter your core beliefs. Don’t make sacrifices without knowing if its going to be reciprocated. Don’t sacrifice you for the other. Always remember to be able to love someone else you first must truly love yourself unconditionally.  Then and only then will you understand the full meaning of those three words.  I love you and the sacrifices made for love will be just soft memories imprinted in your mind of what the emotion love is really about.

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The Lost identity of America…..

Have you ever asked a friend, what race do they consider themself? What ethnicity are you?  Yes rare question to ask someone you talk to daily.  I know its far easier to just assume you know their race and ethnicity based just on someone’s appearance; but you cannot.  I remember being a child thinking how lucky I was to be of two ethnicities.  As I began to function through society I realized that not everyone sees the uniqueness and qualities each ethnicity brings to this country and each persons life.

I can say this because I know from personal experience, Yes i am black but i am also of hispanic decent. However when I entered school I was only acknowledged as black.  I could not completely understand why but I clearly remember the feeling that gave me when I finally realized that my hispanic side was not being seen. Some people may think “So what’s the big deal?”

The big deal is; I was always taught growing up; that America is a country of many races and ethnicities banded together as one.  I still believe in that America. If we continue to judge people purely because of what they look like or group people in one race or ethnicity we then continue the cycle of lost identity in America.  Please do not get me wrong; yes I am American but America means to me respecting the differences of each other while we respect and learn the cultures of many.  We must count and acknowledge each and everyone and keep an open mind to others and their culture.  This is the only way to truly respect and honor what each ethnicity and culture brings to this unique and beautiful country we call America.

So my challenge for you today is broaden your horizons ask a good friend, coworker those same questions, ask them what is part of their culture. Learn to explore the world around you without moving from your seat.  Please come back and share. Tell me what you learned today.

 

 

 

 

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Good morning World

Good morning world;

This is my very first blog.  To be honest with many conversations with friends and colleagues they thought this would be great.  I am a news,crime nature and fitness of some sorts addict.  I love learning, reading and of course talking and getting others input in what i found either funny, sad or just plain heinous.  I am also passionate about how we can improve this world for the next generation and mental illness.

I hope to spark conversation at your dinner table with friends and family on some of the topics i bring up on my blog. I hope you enjoy each topic as well as provide me with feedback,comments to engage me in deeper provactive thinking.IMG_0259